What would Publius do about Iraq?  (1) Withdraw all of our troops and civilians immediately, and give warning to friendly nations to immediately withdraw their nationals as well; (2) Savor the incredible consternation that would sweep that country for a day or two; (3) Fire a low-yield (say, a one or two kiloton) nuclear warhead via cruise missle at Fallujah; (4) Advise the Iraquis that if they do not submit to U.S. domination within 24 hours, we will destroy another of their cities; (5) proceed with the destruction of Tikrit, and other cities and villages until Iraq petitions to become a terrritory of the U.S.  Who's going to stop us?  France? The United Nations? -4/17/04

 

I guess we'll never abolish it, or do something fair like institute a flat tax or a value-added tax.  So how about this for a new twist on people getting soaked based on how much they make: the Reverse Graduated Income Tax.  If you make under $10,000, your tax bracket is 70%.  If you make $10,000 to $20,000, the rate is 65%, and so on until you reach the income level at which you pay no tax at all.  You'd see people working like crazy to get out of poverty, and lying and cheating like mad to overstate their income.  Hell, they lie about it at cocktail parties.  At least they'd be consistent. -4/18/04

 

Rather than require me to pay taxes to Big Brother, so he can redistribute it to those less fortunate, let's eliminate the middle man, and cut out a ton of wasteful bureaucracy.  Just assign me one poor family to feed, clothe, and shelter.  The mother can work as my cook and cleaning lady.  The father can work as my butler, and the kids can work in the yard.  In return, I'll give them room, board, clothing, and medical care:  all the necessities of life, but no pay.  I wonder if this has ever been tried before? -4/19/04

 

On Tuesday, April 20, 2004, the University of Alabama Faculty Senate issued an apology for slavery.  Publius' first thought was that it's about time those inhumane professors apologized for keeping poor students in bondage for all those years!  But as Publius read on, it became clear that the newspaper article was talking the Crimson Tide's intelligentsia apologizing about the antebellum slavery of Black Americans. Now, what in the world did a bunch of tree-hugging, Hillary Clinton-idolizing university professors have to do with enslaving blacks more than 150 years ago?

 

 Publius truly believes that slavery must have been a really bad gig, but how about all of those Irish, Italians, Greeks, and immigrants of countless other nationalities who traveled to this country in the steerage of some rat-infested garbage scow, only to endure quarantine on Ellis Island, before being released to go live in a tenement and work in some northeastern sweat shop?  Don't they deserve an apology, too?

 

Publius thinks that while we're apologizing, we should go one step further and offer all citizens of foreign descent, white, black, brown, yellow, or any other persuasion, a one-way ticket back to their ancestral homelands.  If being an American is such a humiliation that an apology is warranted because of how their forefathers came to be in this land, then they ought to be allowed, at taxpayer expense, to follow Alec Baldwin's and Barbara Streisand's lead and move elsewhere.  What?  Alec and Barbara didn't make good on their promise to leave the country if Bush got elected?  Too bad. 

 

Publius bets there wouldn't be many other takers on his offer, either.  So stop whining, and shut up.  And for God's sake, quit apologizing.  We've got it pretty damn good in this country; better than our immigrant great-great grandparents ever hoped for.  Instead of craving an apology for something that happened generations ago, take a moment to thank Providence that you were born in a country whose citizens are the envy of the world. -4/24/04

 

 

Publius is sorry to say so, but he is mystified by the fuss over the "abuse" scandal involving Iraqui POWs.  Publius understands that it is difficult for a nation that values human rights to explain to a hostile world how its soldiers can mistreat persons within the custody of its armed forces; nevertheless, it is difficult to imagine how prisoners of war are entitled to be treated with the same dignity of Wall Street stockbrokers who may have been accused of insider trading.  I don't know how many of Publius' dear readers have ever taken prisoners; however, Publius believes that it is the captor's God given right to screw with his or her prisoners' heads.  After all, we may or may not be talking about significant physical abuse, such as beatings or frank torture.  What's the difference between making a prisoner strip naked, and get in a human pyramid, on the one hand, and blindfolding a prisoner and pretending that one is going to throw him out of a helicopter, on the other hand?  In Vietnam, we had the luxury of just saying "let's just give 'em to the LLDB."  Where's the LLDB in Iraq?  Publius has seen nothing in the photographs of "POW abuse" in Iraq that exceeded, in substance, an episode of common fraternity hazing.  And because of this nonsense that occured thousands of miles away, some of our "liberal" friends want the Secretary of Defense to resign?  Good grief!  Isn't this all just politics?  Aren't those that are calling for Secretary Rumsfeld's resignation simply political rivals in sheep's clothing, disengenuously sounding the fake trumpet of human rights?  If we want to make noise about human rights abuses, shouldn't we be looking at North Korea?  Or Sudan?  Aren't the foreign folks that we are worried about offending, just American haters from the word "go," whom we couldn't please even if we put the Iraqui POWs up in the Ritz with 24 hour room service?  This seems like a tempest in a teapot to Publius.  43 % of the people think that the Iraq POW scandal is an inexcusable lapse on the part of the Bush administration, 46% think it is not, and 11% are undecided -- the same breakdown of folks who intend to vote for Kerry, for Bush, and who have not made up their minds or who don't give a damn and never will.  Publius thinks it is a crock of Bulls**t.  Sorry, my dear bleeding hearts.  Those same POWs whose misfortunes you lament would merrily kill your sons and daughters in uniform if they were not incarcerated.